Stockings hung for weeks in wait of the magical morning that they would be filled and with delight unveil their treasures. The children were elated with their gifts, their shouts of merriment and glee at their finds filled the house. Still hung by the fireplace however, were three stockings each one silently telling their own stories. One tells of a a son whom we love and miss deeply, another tells of a daughter entering adulthood and all it holds, and the third stocking has waited yet another year for a little girl we long to bring home.
Oftentimes our emotions intertwine like a ball of yarn after the kitty got into it. Untangling this ball takes time and is best done in fragments rather than all at once. So as the days leading up to and  following the holidays bring about unsettling and unresolved feelings we may need to slow down and allow ourselves to process all that we have and all that we miss. Joy and grief are all to commonly, and in my opinion an odd couple as close friends.
Heaviness at the sight of those stockings hung in wait safely placed aside at the sight of our son attempting to walk is my hearts reminder of that odd friendship. Less than two weeks ago the doctor said their is little to no hope of Emmanuel's brain being able to give the message to his legs to walk. Emmanuel heard these words as did I. News of little hope for me was not a welcome thought but in my sons eyes I saw something I hadn't seen yet, he was mad, really mad. Not thinking much of it other than how he doesn't like being talked around I pushed it aside. Several days later I was not answering him fast enough and he placed one hand on the sofa and one on the coffee table and stood up and took a step. He fell and looked at me as if to say "excuse me but I was talking to you". So when I shed a few tears and shouted in excitement he looked at me as if I seriously didn't get it. He didn't even think about what he was doing he simply wanted my attention. Now here I was still not giving him what he needed but instead acting a fool. Slowly realizing this I attended to his dire need of a cookie and then told him he just tried to walk. If his chest could have puffed up any bigger it would have burst! Fearful of causing pain in his feet I didn't think we should try it again however he had a different plan. He kept trying! Christmas day felt like a good day for this attempt. Emmanuel's love for his grandma is beyond measure so who did he want to walk to?? Not one but both legs moved over and over again in walking motion all the way to grandma. His brain told his legs "lets go get grandma" and they did!
With every struggle and with every victory I choose hold tight to the gift of being a parent. I would have it no there way!