"If I look at the mass, I will never act, If I look at the one, I will."
- Mother Theresa
There I sat, in a heap of unmovable pity. My own voice my enemy and my truth clouded with black smoke of pessimism. Not my usual self. Not my normal "fighter" attitude.
I have to honest, when we were planning our trip to Liberia to get our son, with joy overflowing as well came the emotional long awaited news of finally being able to begin the process of adopting our daughter. We had known for nearly three years that we loved her and wanted to add her to our family. The joy was, in truth, mixed with a sense of exhaustion. It felt as if I were in the delivery room embracing my new child and the doctor telling me I was pregnant again.
Adoption is a wild ride and full of emotional set backs, tears of joy and pain, fear, frustration, fundraising, oh my goodness.... fundraising.
We made a promise to our family both near and far that we would carry this adoption pregnancy to term. Not out of obligation but out of a deep love and longing for our family to be complete - she is missing from our complete.
The exhaustion has been wiped away and our whole family is more then ready to get our girl, to share life with her, to be blessed by and to her. We are now filled with expectation and anticipation. Each and every time I check my email or pick up the phone I wonder if the good news will come. We await the day that we get the call to go and get her.
Oh wait!
As we wait for that call we have to finish working to get the funds to pay for the adoption fees.
So we wait and we fund-raise, and fund-raise, and, well you get the idea.
It absolutely astounds me that I even have a single friend left on social media after all my posts are about our adoption. Yet, somehow not one person has been rude or even stopped saying kind words. Although I know you all think we are nuts - this may be true.
This blog is about seeing the one - not the masses.
Our one is a beautiful girl who with each passing day awaits to be unorphaned, to come home. I see her face in my mind every time I close my eyes and hear her raspy laugh and can't wait for her to be amongst her siblings enjoying being a Neal.
