Head to toe she wore back not forgetting an inch of her wordless statement making self. From her black veiled face to her patented leather toes she boldly made her appearance at her daughters wedding.
Joy and laughter filled the church as the hustle and bustle of last minute wedding preparations took place. Delighted that she even came I smiled at my mother as I looked into her bloodshot eyes and simply loved her. No, she wasn't sober but she did make certain to get my sweet little brother cleaned up and dolled up in his wedding attire. Oh my, he looked so handsome and the best part is that he was still shorter than me then.
Music played beckoning my presence igniting ablaze emotions bouncing too fast to grasp hold. My mother took my arm and whispered in my ear "sorry I didn't give you any money for the wedding, I'm saving it for the divorce". There it was the anxiety that lay waiting for her next move could now rest. Many may find that comment horrible and painful but for me it was a release. Not ever knowing what was next with mom, the unknown, that was the scariest.
Daggers had been thrown, the attempted damage had been done, and now I could peacefully walk down the isle to the man I loved with my whole heart.
This part of my story is one I never want to forget as it enables me to teach and love others and to see  beyond the outer junk. Every day in the life of a child of an addict or abuser is a struggle and at the end of that is a victory. I learned very early on to treasure, to hold dear each and every day. This lesson transformed into treasuring people and diligently and with intentionality looking for opportunities to love others.