Wearing my Ralph Lauren white polo and cut off Guess jean shorts I shined like a glow worm amidst the all black leather and rock t-shirts. My first "out in the boonies" pig roast (lets be real here - party). Trying to fit in as best possible I was eager to oblige when someone told me to yell "hey Jay". What emerged was quite a sight! Read this slow then take a moment to close your eyes and feel my fear, please.
Black leather fringes hung from beneath the arms of his biker jacket that opened enough to proudly reveal his ACDC t-shirt. Levi's jeans painted on his body left little to the imagination, his ensemble complete with unlaced Nike high tops. Wait! That is only the attire, there is far more to this unforgettable eye candy. Seven earrings hung from each side of his face proudly framed by one of the best mullets ever known to man. In each hand of this man of unsurmountable studly-ness was a beer with one, of course holding a Marlboro.
Now that I have allowed you to enter into my fear/humor/what the?? moment feel free to die laughing or vomit, whatever you need to do.
This, the scene set before me was all mine and I was terrified. Good thing I can roll with the punches. His first words to me were "hey baby, I'm a rock star". My reply seemed logical with "okay, sing me something". Now this I didn't expect, and please make note that I was still Jewish at this point. My mullet man chucked his beers and cigarette, dropped to one knee, looked up at my eyes and with all his heart  began to sing "Jesus loves me this I know....". I was certain all the people at this party were nuts, all Christians were nuts, I was nuts for not running the other direction but oh was he cute in such a bad boy way.
That punk and I still share the love for craziness and passion for each other like we are newlyweds.
Confession???
I kinda wish he'd bring back that mullet. Shhh, don't tell.