She wrote with practiced precision each name we had given her and with a wink and a half smile wrote the last two. Our 2015 Neal family ornament was complete. This is one of my favorite traditions that my husband I do together. The kids start asking for the new ornament by Thanksgiving time with great anticipation.
When I met my husband I knew I wanted twelve children. He on the other hand wanted none. Thankfully his heart changed and his desire grew along with mine for a large family and a house filled with children. Today our house is filled with the noise and laughter of children and our life is more blessed by the day. Nine kiddos in America, one amazingly beautiful girl in Liberia we love and adore, and well that leaves the two we have yet to meet.
Adoption is a very personal decision however often viewed as a topic that others feel free to open the floodgates of their opinions. I cherish the hearts behind the well meaning insight. Our family's unique design can stir up a plethora of emotions for people. I pray the emotions are ones of contagious compassion for others, acceptance of  individuality, deep sadness for those orphaned, and unconditional love.
The day was sunny and hot as we waited in line for the car wash. Our tear stained faces watched the world around us merely going through the motions without much awareness.  Several team meetings were had, stacks of forms and paperwork filled out, her room was painted and furnished. Just one last meeting and she would come home. Words are powerful and that day at that meeting the words spoken changed everything, "Its not if she will perpetrate, it is when". I am not sure what part was more devastating, knowing she couldn't be our daughter or having to tell the kids or hearing that this sweet girl at the young age of five had been through a hell so utterly painful she struggled to function.  It wasn't until this meeting that we (or our workers) were given any of this information and the decision albeit painful was an easy one as we thought of our kids at home and their safety.
All wounds heal in time and all we could do was pray that the little girl that we thought was coming home with us would find her forever family and our childrens and our hearts would mend.
We had seen photos, and heard lovely stories, knew a bit of her history, but had not met her or held her hand or heard he giggle. Being honest this was unsettling yet relieving.
I remember asking my husband why this little girl that I had never met yet loved so dearly was not to be our daughter as if he had the answer. He just held me and wept.
Our uniquely designed family is nothing less than a miracle. God is the artist in motion when we feel no movement. He never stops painting our story. We wait with anticipation watching the unveiling as our hearts are ready.