The ultimate challenge has been set before me. This challenge is held in the eyes of my new son. It is a deep desire and longing emanating from his eyes. He looks at his siblings with near worshipful beaming eyes as they ride their bikes, run around the house, and simply stand up.
Pity? Not one ounce. Those same eyes look down at his own legs and broken feet and the look transforms into one of determination I have never seen. He smiles big, scoots over to the nearest and highest table and pulls himself up. He stands on those broken feet held on by frail and skinny legs and lights up. He is proud!
He brings me to his wheelchair and wants to go outside, to go fast, to push it himself. He wants to run!
I stare at my son as if he is an infant, taking all of him in, his every move, facial change, learning him and loving more and more each moment. I study him and he studies me. I wonder if he has figured out that I don't run?
I really don't run, ever. I am really good at many other things and there are plenty of other runners in this house. Leaving the running to them has settled just fine in my soul until now. Until those eyes.
You see, I really like to workout too, for a while until I get the desired result and then I sputter out. I think honestly that my husbands significant addiction to physical activity must be balanced out by my conditional love for it. Well, that thought has been challenged by those eyes.
So as I look at those eyes and as he learns more and more words the day is nearing that the gleam may fade if his hopes are crushed. I have to battle with the albeit sounding crazy struggle of the question of, 'will I run for and with him'?
My struggle thoughts :
Running hurts my lungs
At 42 my bladder is not a fan of running
It is cold in MN like 361 days of the year
Running hurts my legs
Do I really have time?
Oh and lets not forget that running hurts

Emmanuel's realities:
He only runs if someone runs with him (for now)
He feels tremendous pain everyday and smiles!
He  thinks bladder issues are hilarious
He can squeeze it in his schedule

I will run for and with my son!

*If you see me and I have the look of death on my face please refrain from calling 911 and if you think my legs appear overly sweaty kindly throw me a Depends and move on.