Forgiveness and healing are issues of the heart. I find it intriguingly frustrating that with a medical and mental health professional for close to every ailment, there is no magic remedy for forgiveness.
This is where I have been stuck for a while.
On that August day when my husband called me to tell me we were expecting again as God had revealed to him our daughter deep in the bush in Liberia Africa my heart jumped for joy! Four long years later she was finally home on American soil getting to know her family and her new normal. Our  hearts soon broke as we learned of the horrific pain she endured, pain we had no idea that was being inflicted.
The anger set in and took good solid root in a foundation I thought was unable to be penetrated. People are flawed, all people including me. In truth it is me whom I need to concentrate on the most when considering flaws.
Finding ease and even comfort in holding onto anger reflects solely on the one shooting invisible arrows.
Placing my bow aside, breaking away that stone wall built around my heart,


I must continue to allow healing to settle in and light to replace darkness.
In a country far away there are faces and smiles that I miss more than words can describe, There are tastes and smells of food that I long for and laughter that still resounds in my ears. My heart  aches to return to this place in many ways yet a mountain of uncertainty holds me back.

What is certain and crystal clear is that me heart is once again ready for missions.
There really is a professional for every ailment and for my present, past, and inevitably future, there is was, and always will be. He has walked this painful path with me every step of the way.