I posted and shared something on my Facebook today. I posted about an incredibly difficult and touchy subject for many. However, for me it is not difficult at all, in fact it is simple in its complexity. 
Rehoming any of my children has never been an option - ever. No matter how they entered this world and became a Neal they are forever ours, forever a Neal.
Oh my, that sounds saint like and so very noble doesn't it? Let's take a step back and talk about what no one wants to talk about.
I have been stolen from, assaulted, threatened, spent countless hours in a multitude of doctors and other professionals offices, gotten to know more police officers than I care to count, chased after run-aways, paid and still owe for treatments and foster care, and shed enough tears to fill a sea.
This world is broken and our children are the victims of that brokenness. They have become products of a society of pain, carrying anguish like a backpack.
We as parents are expected to fix the damage done in so many cases (ie: adoption) of children that are abused, neglected, forgotten, and treated as disposable human trash.
When fear begins to rule and your home is in uncontrolled and utter chaos the thought of rehoming your child may sneak in. There are other options. Options that take long and hard emotional work. The pain our children carry, however they came to own it, is our pain too. We are to help them through it - as hard as that is.
Now, all this being said I also know that there are times that safety is an issue. This is where we lean on the team of professionals we have trusted to be there. It may be tempting to turn away from your team, to blame or feel shame, to find fault in everyone. Pride and fear must take a back seat!
If your team doesn't support you in repairing your family then find another team!
Am I saying that you should allow a dangerous child to have their way? Not in any way, shape or form. Foster homes, treatment centers, and outside services can and may be the answer. In fact, there may be children who never can safely return to the home setting. This does not mean you are not family. Family is forever and everyone's looks different.
Personally, I find different to be beautiful.