It was 2 am when the phone rang. The officer on the other end in his monotone voice "if you are the one on call then there is a baby here at the ER found covered in blood. Are you coming?" As the fog of sleep lifted I thought why am I picking a child up that is injured but trusting him I quickly said yes and hung up the phone. I walked into the chaotic ER, proceeded to inform the front desk nurse of why I was there. Her face softened and with a tear forming she asked me to follow her. That was the longest walk down any hallway I have taken to this day. What was I about to see? When I walked into the room there she was, the sweetest most precious big brown eyed girl ever. Her smile was exhilarating! Nurses surrounded her not for medical purpose but rather for love and affection she was soaking up like a sponge. 

As I drove home with this little angel joyfully listening to her giggles and babbling I knew she was going to be incredibly hard to see leave. She had been in the middle of a violent domestic dispute and by the grace of God was, although bloody, completely unharmed personally. I remember the faces of the nurses and the heaviness in the eyes of the officer that night. These are the images they see daily. My heart was a mess for so many reasons. So many people were forever affected by this one act of violence. How long would she stay? Where would she go next? These were the questions that stole my sleep that night. 

She brightened our lives for 36 hours. Those were hours I will always treasure! 

How do you open the door when the worker comes to get her to bring her back to the same environment from which she came? Each time gets harder yet your heart grows bigger. The impossible has to be done. We must love and let go. It is entirely unnatural yet so often we have to fight against our human nature to hold on or to fight when we must release the ones we love. 

If  you are a foster parent of thinking of being one I will tell you this with all honesty. You will never feel more fulfillment and pain simultaneously. You may never understand why you do it. You will never know the life changing differences you make in the lives of so many. Never forget you are part of a team. That officer or worker that brings the child(ren) to you, the countless health providers, advocates, and yes and maybe even more so the (no matter the reason for placement) the parents.

Foster parent are a huge need in nearly every county. I would love to help anyone interested in getting started with some direction.